“Long live the walls we crashed through, all the kingdom lights shine just for me and you.”
First of all, forgive me if I get lost in translation on this post. I’ve initially planned not to write a birthday message this year but I realized that I don’t want to break the tradition I started since I was sixteen. Hence, I penned this letter just a day before my birthday.
Four years ago, I’ve daunted about the thought of growing up. I’ve always thought that being in your late teens and young adult stage translates into more stress, more work, more serious matters. I was wrong. I’m still studying — I’ve just started my second year in college; I’m still living with my parents; I don’t earn money yet—my earnings go directly to our business; and I’m still not fully independent yet. My all-expenses-paid-existence days are slowly coming to an end. There was this preconceived notion in me that growing up is simply terrifying. Stressful. Hectic. Hustling. In the course of my maturity, I’ve come to realize that life may really be taxing. It is, and will always be. But it’s simply a matter of perspective. There are a few words I’d like to tell you.
In the past 365 days, I’ve been delighted with the peace and quiet of the digital atmosphere. I’ve learned how it’s not always a good idea to parade yourself on social media. There’s this quote I’ve read and it goes along with the lines of: “I don’t know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower.” The moment this blog took a back seat and the moment I’ve lessened my Twitter and Instagram use, everything just went back to normal. There’s no more pressure to look good on social media, no more urges to write a post and tell a story, no more blog statistics to continuously monitor. The numbers mattered less to me. I was at my best. I was excelling in school. It was calm. It was peaceful. Silence made my life sail smoothly.
The newfound serenity I’ve internalized has made me choose my battles. This feeling of liberosis made me care less about the things which don’t matter much to me, and won’t affect my life in the long run. Some things aren’t really worth stressing over. What do you do? Let it go. Life’s too short to spend on seemingly important matters.
This period of growth has reminded me to bloom through the bad. There were times that I forget that God is in control. The backward mindset which is “Why is this happening to me?” has slowly become “What is this situation trying to teach me? What can I learn from this?” This change in thoughts greatly helped me in organizing my thoughts and feelings towards different circumstances in my life. It made me more attentive to the good things I can get from bad experiences.
A few days back, there was this reoccurring feeling of enouement and reminisce bump. Last June, all I did during my free time was to play music I used to listen to in 2013; read my blog posts from 2015; and just go down memory lane as I glance through my photos from 2017. The nostalgia was stronger than ever. I couldn’t believe that I’m two decades old. I am in disbelief that in just a few years, I’ll be working already. I’m in denial that time has flown so fast without me realizing it. I wish I could rewind to the years when my life was simply happy and carefree. I could relate to the All Too Well lyrics “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it.” on a spiritual level.
Whenever nostalgia hits me, I remind myself of this excerpt from Why She Disappeared by Taylor Swift: “Without your past, you could never have arrived—so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance…here.”
To end this post, I’ll keep it short, I’ve got no words left to say. Just thank you, next. 😉
To the big guy in the sky, thank You. Thank You. Thank You for never failing me. For the never ending graces me and my family receive. Thank You.
To my family, thank you for making my twentieth birthday one of the best. The retail therapies and food crawls were absolutely one for the books. Thank you!
To my friends, readers, followers and everyone who remembered me today, thank you. This won’t be possible without all of your love and support!
Come and fly away with me to my roaring twenties.
Shoot location: 52 Stone Restaurant, Friendship Highway, Angeles City